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How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund:You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle ...
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.
7 Days of Creation
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
You Know You Have Too Many Dogs...
When you have more grass in your driveway than in your backyard.
When your neighbors find ANY dog running loose and automatically bring it to your house.
When you want to watch TV and you have to sit on the floor because all of the furniture is "occupied".
When it takes you longer to wash your dogs' dishes than your own.
When you have to use a wash tub for a water dish.
When you have to run an obstacle course to get to the phone.
When you see one of your dogs doing something bad (like chewing something up or leaving a "dog deposit" on the rug) and you have to run through the entire list of dogs' names in order to yell at the right one and by then it is too late.
When the hazmat team comes to your house on trash day to handle the "deposits" that you have placed in your trash can.
When you have all of your dogs in the back seat of your car and it automatically changes lanes when they move to the other side of the car
When you NEVER go anywhere for a vacation because it costs more to kennel your dogs than to go to Hawaii.
When you have an extension on your king-sized bed so you all fit.
When Iams/Eukanuba makes home deliveries.
When you move your bedroom into the garage and put a king and queen sized bed together so all of your dogs can sleep with you.
When you can't remember all of your dogs' names and just call them by colors.... 'gray dog'.
When you take your dogs for a run in the park and people think it is a dog show.
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